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A VIP bodyguard's nightmare: exploding crackers and wild people on parade

Will Asean Plus Six Sacrifice Meat, Drink and Sex?

Monday, August 3, 2009
Vegetarian Festival Photo Album Above

DO THE leaders of 16 nations coming to Phuket in October like firecrackers and pumpkin? We hope so . . . because by coincidence, they will be on the island close to the climax of the famous Vegetarian Festival.

Politicians will tell you they are always willing to make sacrifices, but just how far are the Asean Plus Six leaders prepared to go?

All the way, we hope . . .

During the nine-day period of abstinence on Phuket, visitors and residents are expected to not only give up meat but alcohol and sex, too.

The streets suddenly fill with thousands of people, all wearing white, designating purity.

Yes, it's a crazy time. As a friend once said: ''Just when you think Phuket people are quite normal, along comes the Vegetarian Festival.''

Leaders in Europe probably marvel at television footage of the Running of the Bulls in Pamploma or the La Tomatino Tomato Fight, also in Spain. And most of the 10 Asean leaders will be familiar with the sights and sounds of Phuket in all its annual madness.

But the Plus Six? The leaders of China, Japan, South Korea, India, Australia and New Zealand have probably never seen anything quite like it.

Daily street parades begin at Phuket's Chinese temples. Locals who, in real life, might be bank tellers or tuk-tuk drivers, work themselves into trances, then pierce their cheeks with all kinds of odd implements.

Anything goes - television aerials, rifle barrels, tree branches and bicycles are among the memorable oddities that go through marchers' cheeks.

These entranced ''warriors,'' or mah song , are a little like the visiting leaders - they take the suffering and pain of the world to make life easier for the rest of us.

Firecrackers are what's used to attract the invading spirits, and to keep them under control before driving them away again.

It will be every VIP bodyguard's nightmare . . . streetst full of exploding fireworks, smoke, and crazy people handing out fruit.

If 10,000 security police and soldiers became alarmed during July's Asean gabfest over a motorcycle with a flat tyre, the Vegetarian Festival on Phuket should drive them absolutely nuts.

But then, nuts are ok . . . it's just the meat, alcohol and sex that are banned.

What will the world's media makes of it? It's certainly exquisite timing.

We can hardly wait.

The 2009 Phuket Vegetarian Festival runs from October 18-26. The Asean Plus Six summit will be held on the island October 23-25.

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