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Where Phuket Women Find Friends and Fun
By Marisa Charles Sunday, January 29, 2012
PHUKET: The expat women of Phuket have spoken: They want a place all their own. With over 1040 members from Phuket, the ChickyNet social network for women in Thailand is the number one online resource for many Phuket ladies.
ChickyNet (www.chickynet.com), now in its third year of operation, is specifically geared towards women who want to make the most of their time in Thailand.
Members to the site can connect through ChickyNet forums, classifieds, event listings and blogs. Membership is free and the site has expanded to cover Bangok, Chiang Mai and Hua Hin in addition to Phuket.
Tiffany Ladebat, a ChickyNet member since 2009, explains the appeal of an all-female network.
''Expat women in Phuket need ChickyNet because many women are transitory and need to find a sense of community quickly,'' she says.
''ChickyNet acts as a friendly neighbor to help with all the practical aspects of finding your way around your new environment. And it is a lovely way to find some common points and friendships.''
Ask an expat why they've chosen Phuket as their current home and you'll hear the usual: the warm weather, delicious food, friendly Thai culture, low cost of living, and the ''sabai sabai'' nature of the island lifestyle.
And while lounging at sunset on the beach with a cocktail is certainly an enviable experience, not everything about life in Phuket is so easy.
''Living in Phuket definitely had its upside,'' explains Chicky Net founder Berthe Mandaat, ''but when it came to meeting other women and making friends, I felt that it was hard to find a good place to meet up with people who had similar interests.''
Living abroad anywhere can be, at times, an isolating and overwhelming experience. In Phuket, particularly Patpong Beach, where - let's just state the obvious - many of the ''services'' offered by local businesses are geared towards men, a girl's got to work hard to find a welcoming community.
Coleen Beinert, another dedicated ChickyNet member, appreciates the unique role that ChickyNet plays in the Phuket community, ''Women unlike men need that bond of friendship with other women.
''Someone they can talk too, laugh with, confide in and for support in good times and bad. It is in our nature to have girlfriends to share our lives with.
''Women need that friendship with other women and ChickyNet provides that.''
As the online community of Chicky Net grows, the challenges of expat life for Phuket women are slowly fading away, like the deep colors of the sunset.
Women of Phuket, raise your cocktails. Let's cheers to that.
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Comments
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"Coleen Beinert, another dedicated ChickyNet member, appreciates the unique role that ChickyNet plays in the Phuket community, ''Women unlike men need that bond of friendship with other women."
I think Coleen has a man chip on her shoulder to think that men don't require bonds with other men.
Posted by
Josh
on
January 29, 2012 20:48
"Women unlike men need that bond of friendship with other women."
What a strange remark. Perhaps you'd care to elaborate, Coleen. Does that mean I'm wasting my time with my male friends?
Posted by
Sam W
on
January 30, 2012 09:17
''Women unlike men need that bond of friendship with other women"
There is absolutely no scientific proof of such and to generalise the whole of the male global population shows ignorance. Please provide scientific proof!
Posted by
AdamHasManyEves
on
January 30, 2012 11:55
Editor Comment:
Just in case you missed it, Adametc., there was a relevant item in today's PhuketWatch:
''So many forum users these days grow Arnold-sized muscles behind a keyboard and are so outspoken, abrupt and just plain rude, saying things online that you know they would never dare say to people in the same room. If they are anything like their online persona they probably have few friends.''
Ed I am all for genuine vehicles to build relationships but they should be built on genuine foundations. I do not like Coleen who is probably Australian and therefore should know better as her comments are sexist and would be illegal in Australia and many other countries. As for you comment, I would be quite happy to say it to her face and see if she can provide scientific proof. Frankly Ed why do you print such rubbish - is there nothing more important going on today. You know it will insult your male readers, it is clearly derisory, I don't think an article like that would appear in a European national paper. As you abbreviated my previous post I think you should let readers know when you do such.
Posted by
AdamHasManyEves
on
January 30, 2012 12:16
Editor Comment:
You don't seem to take kindly to views that differ to yours, Adametc, but I'd prefer it if you stuck to the principles. Criticising people in a derogatory way for holding different opinions is cowardly. I am sure male readers are more insulted by your attitude than anything about ChickyNet. Your post was abbreviated because it was full of undeserved insults, not debating points. It appears my efforts to make that point are too subtle for you.
Yes Ed it is too subtle for me. By insulting me what do you hope to achieve?
Posted by
AdamHasManyEves
on
January 30, 2012 13:06
Editor Comment:
Perhaps the same as whatever it is you hope to achieve by shamefully insulting other readers, Adametc. Attention, perhaps? People can decide for themselves on the worth of your post, as you continue to protest. I'd hate to be unbalanced, like you:
''Women unlike men need that bond of friendship with other women" There is absolutely no scientific proof of such and to generalise the whole of the male global population shows ignorance and stupidity. Where did she grow up in a jungle? Coleen please provide scientific proof! I think we will have to wait a long time for Coleen to do so. Stupid lady, just admit you hate men, be honest.
For those men who want to know where I got my information here is the article. It doesn't mean your wasting your time with your male friends it is just our bonding is different then yours.
Mr. Adametc. and you other men, when was the last time you sat with your male friend and asked him about his feelings, fears and desires and shared yours with them or just gave them that reasuring hug??
They Teach It at Stanford
In an evening class at Stanford the last lecture was on the mind-body connection - the relationship between stress and disease. The speaker (head of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her friends At first everyone laughed, but he was serious.
Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality ''girlfriend time" helps us to create more serotonin - a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well-being.
Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities. They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going. Jobs? Yes. Sports? Yes. Cars? Yes. Fishing, hunting, golf? Yes. But their feelings? Rarely.
Women do it all of the time. We share from our souls with our sisters/mothers, and evidently that is very GOOD for our health. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym.
There's a tendency to think that when we are "exercising" we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged - not true. In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking!
Posted by
Coleen
on
January 31, 2012 02:45
Ah, I get it Collen: "Women unlike men need that bond of friendship with other women." But then you say that men, in fact, DO need the bond of friendship that women have. It's easy to be confused by a mind set like that.
Posted by
Sam W
on
January 31, 2012 08:48
Coleen, if it was not this point they would have found another point to attack you on.
There is no denying that a very anti-western women sentiment among many (not all) of the lovely expat men that choose to live here.
Just look at the comment here. Sure only one comment but after being here for many years one knows this is to be expected.
http://phuketwan.com/tourism/beauties-aim-greet-eat-phuket-photo-album-15317/
However I will say that I have heard men complain that it is hard to find male friends too, unless one wants to hang out at "bars".
Perhaps of these lovely guys can start Dicky Net.
Posted by
Nancy Botwin
on
January 31, 2012 11:52
Coleen, thank you for the explanation, perhaps you could have written your article in a less insulting way. I believe that every man needs a lady and every lady needs a man (except if you are gay of course) The way you portrayed men in your original article was a little off. Anyway as I said I am all in favour of different ways to meet people, men can play golf etc as you say. Why is everyone calling me Adametc my name is AdamHasManyEves.
Posted by
AdamHasManyEves
on
January 31, 2012 16:42
Editor Comment:
I shortened your name to Adametc. Other readers may not be aware of your name changes from Adam, to Adam Again Looking for Eve, to Adam Found Eve, to Adam Might Have Found Eve, to Adam Found Many Eves, to Adam Found Several Eves, to Adam Has Many Eves. I was just trying to avoid confusion in my mind, if not in yours. I guess when all is said and done, you are still the original Adam.
Ok Ed, I will try and keep to one Adam, but my name reflects the ever changing romance in my life...it's a jungle out there for us handsome rich guys....hahahah PS does anyone know where I can sell my girlfriend's brain, it is unused, so expensive. Just kidding of course, but she does talk too much.
Posted by
AdamNotLookingForEveAtTheMomment
on
January 31, 2012 17:52
Well, I can think of men, whose health will deteriorate dangerously if they have to talk about their feelings in a regular way to their buddies. And I am not kidding. Talking about oneselve's feelings may help one, but to generalise it, is quite off, I think. Japanese ladies do not talk about their feelings too much, but tend to become quite old.
So no, guys are not wrong to buddy on activities. That is just their understanding of quality time. Just insane to think the serotonin level will only go up, if they talk about their inner emptiness or whatever. If you ask a general, she will say, more troops needed, ask a teacher, he need more books, ask a shrink, she will tell you talk more, ask a sport instructor, he tell you get your fat ass off the couch...
People are different, men and women are different on so many levels. And then there is always the grey area...
But being a farang women in Thailand is like you disappear as a women to most of the expats here. Not too much flirting, no looks. It's a buyers market on Phuket I would say. *555
So this local social chicky net seems to be a nice place to find good friends. And bond totally healthy.
Posted by
Lena
on
January 31, 2012 19:47
OMG! Really? The comments by the 'men' on the board here is astonishing.
Women need and relish in the friendship of other women. We understand each other in ways you (men) would never understand. Most men who are grounded know that.
Men need the friendship of other men of course. A male has male friends and you all share differently than women do.
And by the way, that information is found in newspapers, online, etc. Just ask your Mommy.
Posted by
EWren
on
February 9, 2012 03:54
i think it pretty tacky how some of these males attack on there comments.
what ever happened to being nice ....
Posted by
nikki
on
March 4, 2012 12:40
Colleen, thanks for posting your scientific proof as Adametc has requested. I knew what you meant and agree. Men don't typically establish the same kind of emotional connection you find between women, and that is too bad. I have always had at least one, sometimes up to 3 guy friends in my life that I had more of a supporting brotherly relationship with. It's hard to find male friends like that, particularly in Thailand. These were true friends that I could tell almost anything. Still though, with men that communication is often more subtle, less literal, but still understood. I have noticed this especially with my British friends. My American ones I find this an easier prospect, so I would say there is a cultural aspect to it as well.
Posted by
Joe
on
May 17, 2012 21:21
Hello,
I have been traveling with my husband for the past few months and have spent way too much time together and would love to meet and hang out with girls. I am in my mid-thirties but enjoy people of all ages.My interests are travel (of course),food and wine,culture, music, the beach, good conversation, and just plain fun. Look forward to girl time!
Posted by
Shawna Spencer
on
June 20, 2012 20:13
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"Coleen Beinert, another dedicated ChickyNet member, appreciates the unique role that ChickyNet plays in the Phuket community, ''Women unlike men need that bond of friendship with other women."
I think Coleen has a man chip on her shoulder to think that men don't require bonds with other men.
Posted by Josh on January 29, 2012 20:48