THE CHEF who usually makes a great meat-lover's pizza with ham, salami and sausage was on a ladder hanging yellow and red flags, ready for the Vegetarian Festival.

Sorry, no meat today.

All along streets in Samkong and other parts of Phuket City, row upon row of restaurants servings veggies and only veggies are springing up.

From Thursday evening, crowds dressed in white will swamp the stalls, eager to start nine days of no-meat abstinence.

Sex and alcohol are also off the menu. So, for that matter, is coffee with real milk.

Goody-goodies go the whole nine days, but there's no problem if you start with noble intentions and fall off the veggie-chastity-water wagon.

While the remarkable and highly photogenic daily street parades in and around Phuket City offer a wild, engaging buzz between now and October 16, the food is also part of the process . . . and the fun.

To join the crowds decked in white is to gain a sense of what's probably Phuket's most distinct cultural experience. Phuket does veggies bigger and better than anywhere else.

Spain and Italy may have their tomato festivals, but Phuket is the full patch. At this time of the year, nobody minds if Cinderella's coach turns into a pumpkin, as long as its well-cooked.

As with any marathon, many start with dash, but few finish. Three days of going without is considered to be a reasonable attempt, enough to understand the sense of renewal that comes with a healthy change in diet.

But we do know of supermarathoners, people who go without the whole year. (We are talking here solely about meat.)

Gin Jae (vegetarian) food is served morning, noon and night 365 days a year by Niyom ''Joe'' Wongwienkam, whose restaurant is packed at noon on this particular day, even though the festival hasn't yet begun.

''For 14 years I've been serving vegetarian,'' he said. ''It's good for you all the time.''

Khun Joe began with a small shop on Phuket and now has a much larger spread that's well-known as the place to go in Samkong if you have a sudden lust for spinach or broccoli.

It's on the main road, not far from the local Chinese temple where the warriors will soon be possessed by the spirits of the gods and dancing in the streets.

Something special is happening at Khun Joe's this year: out the back there will be Japanese food - and pizza . But no ham, salami and sausage.

We find a contented staffer, though, who is making fake fish. It certainly smells like the real thing.

Plenty of other different kinds of meat will be available to followers during the festival, all of them imitations. It all looks great but on past experience, more science is required to perfect the taste.

While meat still makes some mouths water, Khun Joe says more Phuket people are turning into year-round vegetarians.

Does this make Phuket perhaps the most healthy part of Thailand?

Maybe, if only those pesky tourists didn't keep arriving and expecting to find beef, pork and seafood on the menu, with coffee and alcohol to wash it down.

The good news is that Thai spicy salads tend to work just as well without crab or squid. The bad news is that real meat becomes harder to find.

What should you eat, though, if you want to enjoy real Phuket culture between now and mid-October?

Khun Joe recommends:



Salty ''fish'' deep fried, with steamed rice and the vegetables of your choice.



Phuket mixed vegetable soup that sells well the whole year long.



Fried morning glory with soybeans. Add some ''pork'' if you wish.



Yellow spicy curry with ''chicken'' or ''fish.''



Mixed vegetables, with ''oyster'' sauce.